white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
