Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
