im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
