Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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