Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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