i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
