i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
