And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
