Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
3 2 1 whiskey
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
