White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
