Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
