I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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