I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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