So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm sobbing to NWA
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
