Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
