Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
