Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
