Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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