I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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