its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
