Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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