Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You made out with two different species that night
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
