Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
