I didn't shave. On purpose
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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