There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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