just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
