Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
