The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm at about main and main street
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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