And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
