There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
