I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
