I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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