i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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