Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
