We won't sleep together?
actually, I'm a sock model
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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