i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
