everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
