so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
