he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
