Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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