I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
