i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
