Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
