This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
