Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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