So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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