How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
