you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
