there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
