some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
